I cry very easily now days, and I seem to laugh just as easily....I see the smile on
Amy's face and it makes me happy and within the same second I am grieving at the
thought of not seeing her again until we are all in heaven together. I think that is
the definition of a maniac....lol
Today was as good and bad a day, as me laughing and crying. Amy and I laughed
and discussed everything but death. The "D" word is one of those things that are
always around but it is like "piles".....annoying but you don't discuss it.
The mass on her neck is just like someone inserted a small apple in her neck.
The nurse said if it opens they will put a pressure dressing on it and not mess
with it. It is displacing her trach and I was concerned the mass would push
the trach out of her neck. She said the report she received was that the mass
would crush her trachea.......I said, I knew it was going to close what airway she
had going to her mouth and above the trach but not one person bothered to tell
us the mass was going to grow so big she can hardly hold her head
up and today she could barely walk, even with our help....and that the tumor was
possibly going to pop open and that eventually she would die gasping for air......
My God, do you not think we had a right to know these things......she couldn't come
home from the hospital until everyone was assured I could take care of her but you
didn't think I needed to know information as important as that!!!!!
I get angry for being angry. I get frustrated over what seems to be of little
importance to them and of great importance to me. I feel grieved for every
parent whose child died a violent death of a mad man and so very grateful
my child will go home to glory within the safe walls of her parents' home.
I say, why am I so fortunate to be with my child until she goes home and
their are parents who grieve for their child whose going home took place at
the hands of a murderer in a strange, violent place. Who am I to complain...
we can always find someone who is walking a more difficult journey.
I FEEL PROUD THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE FIGHT TO LIVE AS HARD
AS AMY HAS. SHE LOVES LIFE. AS PAINFUL AS LIFE HAS BEEN FOR HER,
SHE STILL LOVES EVERY SECOND OF IT...AND I CAN'T BEGIN TO TELL YOU
HOW MUCH I LOVE HER.
TODAY YOU SET A RECORD FOR CARDS.......
A BIG DRUM ROLL..........
49 CARDS.........45 CARDS PLUS 4 POST CARDS.
THE MAILMAN WAS LATE TODAY, SO SHE WAS ONLY ABLE TO READ 8
OF THE 49 BEFORE SHE WAS TOO EXHAUSTED TO READ ANY MORE.
HER EYES GOT BIGGER THAN USUAL WHEN SHE SAW THE STACK OF
MAIL. SHE EVEN RECEIVED A CARD FROM A PRECIOUS LADY IN SCOTLAND.
AMY HAS ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO IRELAND AND KISS THE BLARNEY
ADD 49 CARDS TO THE 148 SHE HAS ALREADY RECEIVED, THAT'S A LOT OF LOVE.
I WILL JUST NEVER BE ABLE TO THANK YOU ENOUGH.
GIVE YOURSELF A BIG PAT ON THE BACK...
YOU ARE AWESOME
I AM CLAPPING FOR YOU.
I AM GIVING YOU A STANDING OVATION.
MY MOTHER BOUGHT A LEATHER BOUND SCRAP BOOK THAT HAS VINYL SHEETS
YOU CAN ADD AND HAS PRESERVED EVERY CARD IN THIS BOOK....EACH CARD
IS LIKE A LITTLE PIECE OF ART WORK AND AMY CAN OPEN THE ALBUM AND
READ EVERY CARD....NOW MOTHER HAS 49 MORE TO ADD TO THE 148.
THANK YOU MOTHER FOR SUCH A WONDERFUL IDEA AND ALL THE HARD
WORK YOU PUT INTO IT.
PLEASE REMEMBER THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE IN PRAYER.....ATLANTA, GEORGIA
AND ALL THE FLOODING AND THE 5 PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST THEIR LIFE,
AMY, LEILA, JAY, SUZANNE, RICHIE AS HE TRAVELS TO IOWA ON BUSINESS,
LADY PENNIWIGS SON AND HER HUSBAND'S ULCER ON HIS LEG,
PATRICIA, JEAN, PEGGY, MADONNA, TAMMY, BECCA, SHERRY'S FOOT,
TERESA, JENNIFER, MARYDON AND HUSBAND HAROLD WHO IS TRAVELING,
ASHLEY DESPERATELY NEEDS PRAYER, BARBARA AND ROY'S SAFETY AS
THEY TRAVEL, SALLY, ROY AND ELISABETH, TRACY'S MOTHER, DENNIS,
CAROLE, KRISTIE, KATHY, JEANNE, BRANDON, JAMIE, KIMBERT, KIPPIE,
HAROLD'S BROTHER, CAROL'S FATHER, CINDY, MONTE, JOHN, GLORIA,
TAWNA AND MIKE, DORIS AND RICHARD, 2 UNNAMED PRAYER REQUESTS
I WILL BE GLAD AND REJOICE IN YOUR LOVE, FOR YOU SAW MY
AFFLICTION AND KNEW THE ANGUISH OF MY SOUL.
"TOUJOURS DANS MON COEUR"
"ALWAYS IN MY HEART"