Monday, November 9, 2009

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET

THIS IS THE BEAUTIFUL GRAVE MARKER THEY USE UNTIL THE MONUMENT

ARRIVES. I LOVE SEEING HER BEAUTIFUL PICTURE. YOU CAN'T TELL IT

BUT THE PICTURE TO THE LEFT IS A BUTTERFLY.
YOU CAN SURE SEE THE HENNESSEY RED SHELL DIRT. WE ARE GOING TO ADD SOME OF OUR
OWN DIRT AND MAKE THE SOIL RICH. RICHARD, MY DH AND I WERE TO
AMY'S RESTING PLACE TONIGHT. WE RAKED AND TOOK THE OLD CONTAINERS SO WE
CAN MAKE THANKSGIVING ARRANGEMENTS. WE TOOK OUT JUST ONE OF HER SOLAR LIGHT
BUTTERFLIES AND WE WILL SEE HOW THE ONE WORKS. SHE LOVED THEM SO AND
RICHARD WOULD BRING THEM IN AND STICK THEM IN THE COUCH WHICH THEY GLOWED
DIFFERENT COLORS ALL NIGHT LONG. SHE MAY HAVE BEEN 33 YEARS OLD
BUT HER HEART WAS YOUNG AND FULL OF WHIMSY AND THAT IS WHY SHE
LOVED ME TO READ TO HER. IT WAS A SPECIAL TIME FOR US.

THE VAULT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SURPRISE TO US. IT HAD A GORGEOUS
BUTTERFLY IN AN OVAL FRAME AND THEN A PLAQUE AT THE BOTTOM WITH HER
NAME AND BIRTH YEAR AND GOING HOME YEAR. I KNOW IT IS UNDERGROUND
AND NOBODY WILL EVER SEE IT BUT IT WAS A LOVELY GIFT FOR ANDERSON
BURRIS TO DO....IT IS THEIR WAY OF SHARING WHAT WAS IMPORTANT TO AMY
AND HER LITTLE CASKET WAS FULL OF BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLIES.


















SOME FUNNY THINGS DO OCCUR. MY DARLING 89 YEAR OLD MOTHER IN LOVE
COULD HARDLY CONCENTRATE ON THE FUNERAL BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT THE
CASKET SPRAY COST 1,000.00. FOR SOME REASON THAT CRACKED ME UP.
TO BE AS SMALL AS WE HAD IT MADE, IT HAD 36 LAVENDER FLOWERS PUT IN
AMONG BRIGHT PINK SHASTA DAISIES. I DON'T THINK THERE WERE ANY SHASTA
DAISIES OR BUTTERFLIES LEFT, IN THE TOWN OF ENID.







WE PUT THE QUILT THAT MICHELLE MADE FOR HER WHEN SHE FIRST WENT
I THOUGHT AND THOUGHT ABOUT PUTTING THE LITTLE QUILT WITH AMY
BUT CHANGED MY MIND.....SOME TIME, 100 YEARS FROM NOW, MY ONLY SON AND
DAUGHTER IN LOVE MIGHT HAVE CHILDREN AND THOSE GRAND KID'S CLIMBING
AROUND ON AMY'S QUILT WILL BE LIKE THEM CRAWLING OVER AMY, AS IF SHE WAS WITH US.
AMY HAS JOURNEYED HOME TO BE WITH JESUS BUT SHE IS STILL MY ONLY DAUGHTER
WHO I CHERISH, LOVE, ADORE, AND AM HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME LIVING
WITH OUT. I AM TRYING TO DO ALL THE THINGS......LAST SATURDAY RICHARD
TOOK ME TO AMY'S HOUSE. I WAS SO OVERCOME WITH GRIEF, I HAD TO GET
OUT OR PASS OUT.
TEARS.....TEARS.....TEARS.........
TEARS IN FEAR.....
I JUST CAN'T FORGET YOUR FACE BABY GIRL
OR HOW WHEN YOUR TIRED, YOU TWIRL YOUR CURLS
ALWAYS WORRYING ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE...
WANTING THEIR DAY TO BE BRIGHT
BUT MORE TIMES THAN NOT........
BUT MORE TIMES THAN NOT... YOU WERE LEFT ALONE
CRYING IN THE INVINCIBLY DIM SPOTLIGHT
YOU WERE ORDAINED INTO THE ROYAL FAMILY JULY 1995
SO EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOUGHT HERE WITH ME NOW
YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF OUR LORD
WHERE YOUR ART AND DISPLAYS ARE APPRECIATED BY THE KING
JESUS LOOKS FORWARD TO ALWAYS SEEING YOUR SMILE AND THE ANGELS
LOVE IT WHEN YOU HUM A HAPPY AMY TUNE
HOW CAN I EVER BAKE CUPCAKES WITHOUT YOU...THAT WAS YOUR JOB.....
BESIDES YOUR APRON FIT YOUR LITTLE BODY AND I DON'T HAVE A FAT APRON
AMY I AM TRYING TO BE AS BRAVE AS YOU WERE BATTLING THE CANCER
BUT DADDY AND I WERE THERE CHEERING YOU ON..........YOU'RE NOT HERE
I PRAY THAT YOU ARE CHEERING US ON FROM THE GRAND STANDS OF HEAVEN
BECAUSE THIS IS A PRETTY HUGE TASK
I KNOW WE HAD YOU 33 YEARS WHICH SOME HAVE SAID I SHOULD BE THANKFUL
FOR......WE HAVE BATTED FOR YOUR LIFE FOR 33 YEARS....IT HAS NOT ALWAYS
BEEN MEMORIES OF ROSES AND LACE BUT 4 YEARS CHEMO STARTING AT AGE 10 1/2 WHICH WAS ENDLESS VOMITING....152 HOSPITAL ADMISSIONS THE FIRST YEAR....NOT THE DAYS WE STAYED.
WE DIDN'T JUST HAVE 33 PERFECT YEARS AND THEN AMY BECAME ILL.
I THINK NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU HAD YOUR CHILD WHEN GOD COMES TO TAKE THEM
HOME IT IS NEVER ENOUGH TIME. WE ARE NEVER READY TO GIVE THEM UP...WE WOULD ALL
PLEAD FOR ONE MORE DAY.
I WANTED YOU, AMY GIRL TO STAY....I WAS HYPERVENTILATING AS I SAW THOSE QUIET
GASPS LEAVING YOU.....I TRIED TO GET A PULSE AND THERE WAS NO PULSE...YOU WERE BLEEDING FROM YOUR PEG TUBE, TRACH, FOLEY...........I PUT MY HEAD ON YOU AND AS SICK AS YOU WERE, I BEGGED YOU TO COME BACK. I THOUGHT RICHARD AND I WAS GOING TO DIE AND LEILA HAD NEVER BEEN
AROUND A DEAD BODY. SHE DID AMAZINGLY BUT WAS STILL OVERCOME. MY MOTHER
WENT TO MAKING PHONE CALLS AS IF NONE OF IT WAS REAL. SHE WAS IN SHOCK. BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB.






THE TALL ARRANGEMENT WAS SENT BY BARBARA THE PURPLE GOAT LADY. IT HAD
GORGEOUS TEXAS BLUE BELLES. SHE WAS ATTENDING HER FRIENDS FUNERAL WHOSE
HUSBAND DROPPED OVER DEAD VERY UN EXPECTANTLY.


BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
THANK YOU MY FRIENDS FOR ALL THE CARDS, ENCOURAGING MESSAGES AND JUST A
LISTENING EAR. YOU FIND OUT MANY POSITIVE AND MANY UGLY THINGS WHEN A
LOVED ONE PASSES ON AND THAT WAS THE CASE WITH AMY. I AM SO VERY HAPPY
THAT SHE WAS NOT HERE TO ENDURE IT...IT WOULD HURT HER FEELINGS
IT IS SO VERY SAD WHEN YOU LOOSE A CHILD OF ALL THINGS, AND THEN THE SOOTHE SAYERS
COME TO BARBEQUE YOU. I DON''T CARE ANYMORE BECAUSE I SERVE
THE KING OF KINGS
AND THE LORD OF LORDS.
HE WILL VINDICATE ME, GIVE ME REST,
GIVE ME PROMOTIONS AND BETTER EQUIP ME TO SERVE HIM.........
AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALWAYS FOREMOST
"BEING ABOUT THE FATHERS BUSINESS."



I AM TRYING TO GET ON TO A FUN BLOG YOU WILL LOVE TO COME TO BUT RIGHT
NOW IT IS BABY STEPS FOE ME.
I HURT WITH A PAIN I HAVE NEVER HAD BEFORE...IT EASES BUT THEN GRABS YOU
LIKE A HEART ATTACK AND SOMETIMES IT IS SO NUMB AND SILENT YOU WANT TO
SCREAM TO SEE IF YOU ARE IN A NIGHTMARE
OH TO LOSE A CHILD IS TO LEAVE A BIG HOLE IN YOUR HEART
ANGEL HUGS
LOVE
DEBBIE
SO MANY PRAYER REQUESTS: MY AUNT JEAN RECOVERING FROM SURGERY....MY AUNT PATRICIA RECOVERING FROM A BROKEN LEG. ANASTASIA...CANCER, CAROL'S SISTER IS IN ICU,
SHE IS A SERIOUS DIABETIC, SHAUNA, LADY DY, GLORIA......PLEASE PRAY FOR HER GRANDSON'S SQUADRON IN FORT HOOD...HER GRANDSON PRAISE THE LORD IS SAFE BUT THEY LOST MANY OF
THEIR SQUAD...ROY AND ELISABETH,ALSO GLORIA'S HUSBAND LOST HIS PRECIOUS DOG OF 19 YEARS...THAT IS A BROKEN HEART THERE....HE TOOK HIM IN TO RAISE WHEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD.
MIKE AND TAWNA, DORIS AND RICHARD, ANDREW, SHELLY, MONTE, JOHN, AND GLORIA.
BECCA, BECCA AND HER GRAND BABY, AND ANY OTHERS THAT WERE BROUGHT TO MY
ATTENTION THAT I HAVE FORGOTTEN THEM. YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE LORD AND LORD
HELP ME, RICHARD, RICHIE, AND MEGAN FIND SOME REST.
I THANK YOU LORD FOR HEARING MY REQUEST. WE LOVE YOU LORD AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE MORE THAN ABLE TO DO THAT WHICH YOU SAY.
I LOVE YOU LORD.


85 comments:

  1. Oh Debbie,
    My heart aches for you...... I wish there were something I could say to ease your pain but I know there is nothing I can say.....
    Hugs,
    Lynn

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  2. Dearest Debbie, I'm floating a big hug on butterfly wings to you since I can't be there to hug you in person......Hugs&Love, Jennifer

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  3. Dear Debbie, I know there are no words to even begin to take away the pain, only time can help to ease it some. All the butterflies are wonderful. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers and sendings love and hugs your way~ carmen

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  4. Dear Debbie, I am in tears now only to read how you feels. I know there are no words to say that take away your pain. But I feel the same way when I lose my mom 3 years ago, I missed her every day. Each day I ask me why my mom was not here more time, every single day I am thinking of her. She lost important things from Yadiel and Chantal's life. I understand how you feel, talk every day of Amy, write your feelings about what happen, trust me, the pain will be there long time but every day you will feel that pain different and one day , questions will be arrive at your mind, but your heart will be full of joy. I am really sorry about your lost. I don't know you in person, but we think every day in your family and pray for your peace and tranquility in this moment.Hugs,Evelyn

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  5. Thinking of you today!

    Mary Ann in Ohio

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  6. Debbie and Richard, My heart is just breaking for you...I have no words to ease your pain...Just please know your in my heart and prayers...God Bless...Gloria

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  7. Debbie, you are so beautiful. My heart just breaks for you. You are so amazing. Everything you are doing is just beautiful and your love just shines through....

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  8. Dear Debbie,
    I am praying for you and Richard and your family. Praying you will sense the Lord's Presence with you at this sad time.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

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  9. When I was 8 years old I had really discovered the power of prayer. And one night I started to pray for all the people (by name) that I could think of who needed prayer. As a small boy I ended up in tears because I realized that there was no way on earth that I could ever mention in a single prayer the name of every person who needed the Lord's help. So I asked God to help me pray instead. He gently reminded me that helping people was his job. All I had to do was listen, and he would tell me what I needed to do. So to this day, I simple pray, "God, you know who needs your help. Bless them with your hand." Of course, I still mention names, my family, my friends, people I know, and sometimes even people I see or hear about in the news. But God knows our heart and hears us from there. You, Debbie, are in my prayers by name. Amy is okay now. You will be, too.

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  10. Debbie, my heart breaks for you and all of your family. I wish I could give you a real hug and help ease your pain, but I don't have the words or the wisdom to do that. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Marty

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  11. Oh, I can't even express how much compassion I feel for you, a mother whose only daughter went before you...it must be the most difficult thing in the world to bear. I have just one daughter, my only child, and the thought of her leaving before me is simply inconceivable (albeit possible) but I would, as I know you would too, give my life for her...I am so sorry for your loss!

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  12. Oh Debbie my tears are falling so freely now they will be hard to stop. My heart is just breaking for you. I know there is nothing to say, that is in any way going to take this sorrow away from you. Only time will begin to ease it some. You had everything so beautiful for her. She went right from your loving arms to the loving arms of her Savior. You have such a beautiful heart. It just shines through everytime I visit here and read your words. I would love to give you a big hug. Know that I pray for you everyday. Know the Lord knows and feels your pain and He will find ways to help ease it. Know that you don't have to worry about finding ways to entertain us with uplifting fun posts. Write from your heart and let your pain flow out so that we can all help in any tiny little way that we can for you to bear it. Know that time will ease your pain, but that there is no time table you need to follow. God has got you in His loving arms, and He will not leave or forsake you, but get you through this.

    Much love and blessings coming your way, Debbie

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  13. Dearest Debbie,
    This was a wonderful post and a giant step for you. I loved hearing about Amy and how she always made the cupcakes, how much she loved butterflies, and how she loved whimsical things. Sharing these things with us must have been very hard but it's part of your healing.
    Lord may you pour out your blessings on this dear family, ease their suffering, comfort their hearts, give them rest and peace, and fill their hearts and minds with happy memories of their beloved Amy. I ask these things in Jesus' precious name, Amen.

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  14. Debbie ~ Your pain I know well, I bleed for your insurmountable pain, at this time ... there are so many loved ones that care so deeply for you, hands outreached in love ... One step at a time, every day, that is all you, & they can do. Everyone suffers in losses of a beloved family member. Treasure every second you had your daughter ... these memories will fill your heart & bring peace to your soul. Prayers, Marydon

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  15. I love you Debbie.

    The scriptures say that ...
    Those who pass on before us stand at the right hand of God interceding for us bot day and night.

    at the right hand of GOD stands Amy.

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  16. Dear Debbie,

    I am crying with you - crying for you and for your family and for Amy. We never will know the answers to why this happened while we are here on earth. I lost my brother at age 51 and it like to have killed us. I remember the minister saying - it's not right that kids go before their parents.

    I can't and don't want to even imagine losing my children or grandson.

    My feeling is for you to take your time to grieve and don't worry about your blog whether it is good or bad - funny or sad.

    Dr.Suess said if you make people mad then they weren't your friends to begin with. Friends are loyal - whether you make mistakes or whether you're depressed or sad. It's called tolerance and forgiveness.

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  17. Good morning Debbie. It is good to see you blogging again. You are an amazing woman and I know you don't feel it right now because you are still so full of grief. My prayer is that our Father would continue to hold you steadfast. Amy will always be with you in your hearts. I wish I could have known her personally because I know she must have been a very special person. Bless you and your family Debbie.

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  18. Debbie,
    There aren't words... But know that you are in our prayers. And know that when it seems to desperately overwhelming - God is there to hold you.
    **hugs**
    Deb

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  19. Your loss is so incredibly great, and my words are just so weak and small -- just hang in there, I am worried you will grieve yourself to death. My mother did. No, it is never right for a child to die before the mother. And such a child as Amy, such an incredible fighter, such a spirit, her little ways so vivacious, her liveliness and sweetness unmatched.

    What a beautiful resting place for her body. The casket, the vault, and now the cemetery plot, too, all so beautiful. I know she looks down and sees it.

    Ignore those who reproach you with this-or-that, who bring up the you should-have-could-have-might-have done's. Ignore those who tell tales of Amy. I pity their sorry asses. Amy is so above them in every way and God knows the truth of every matter and Jesus has your back.

    Just keep on keepin' on, Debbie.

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  20. Sweet Debbie...

    I'm so grateful that you have a place to come and share your feelings. There are so many ladies here to cared so much about your Amy and care about you and your family. You don't ever need to feel like your blog needs to be a "happy" place...we understand. I can't imagine your pain...giving birth to this little miracle, then giving her back to God. I've prayed for you and yours so many times since I've found you in blogland. I'm so happy that you have such a wonderful relationship with the Lord. How do people manage without Him? And, Amy's there with Him....that is so precious.

    Sending many, many hugs,
    xoxox
    Spencer

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  21. Know that you and your family are in my heart and prayers....everything you did for Amy in life and now in death is beautiful. Her resting place is soothing and I thank you for sharing it, know that you are loved and cared for my friend, God Bless...:-) Hugs

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  22. I feel so helpless....I have nothing to offer you, Debbie...nothin' I can say that will comfort you or ease your sadness or mend that huge hole in your heart....all I have are my prayers...
    May GOD Bless you and your family♥and may you always feels those gossamer wings wrap 'round you...♥

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  23. The vault was such a fitting and loving tribute, it matters not that it won't be seen now, it is etched in memory. It is so hard to accept your loss, I know. Only time will ease SOME of your pain. Know that you are prayed for and loved as you journey forth. Lots of hugs Kerrie and Bill

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  24. It is heartbreaking to know how much pain you are in. You spoke about how it would ease and then rush back in...I hope that God will increase that easier part for you a little every day.
    Thanks for the compliment on my Ma's memory box. You will have to find a mighty big box to make one for Amy.
    May the good Lord continue to carry you all, until you feel the ground under your feet again.
    Rhonda

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  25. let me tell you that I think that I have never met so strong woman than you, I can not believe that you keep all this strength since the beginning of all this process, and as you said ,its baby steps, but believe me I am learning a lot from you, you are a teacher of strength and faith for me, I hope that everyday will bring you more peace and the future to come be full of happiness , of sure AMY wants that for you and the rest of the family, PLEASE TAKECARE, GOD BLESS YOU

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  26. Debbie, I can feel your pain pouring from your post. Please post as much as you like, whatever you need, we are all here to support you. Your entire family is still in my prayers.

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  27. I can't help but cry for your pain. All that energy you used for fighting... fight for each other. She has a legacy of love and innocence. I hope you get out and grab coffee/ water/ a walk with some friends or neighbors, and that you're accepting ALL the help you are offered.
    LOVE and *hugs,*
    - jess

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  28. Debbie,my heart just ached for you as I read this, along with tears. Keep pouring it out, and we'll all be here for you.

    ♥Heidi

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  29. Dear Debbie, it is an honor to meet you, I am so sorry for your loss. I have daughters too and I can't imagine your pain. I will add your name to my prayer list and praythat God will send his comforter to ease your pain and sorrow.
    Hugs
    Kathy

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  30. Debbie I am so proud to see your post. Please don't hold back anything that you want to express on your blog. This place is not to entertain folks it is for you to use for therapy, (I do)sharing ups and downs or anything that comes along. Be strong in knowing Amy is rooting for you and her dad and bother and SIL first of all.
    QMM

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  31. My heart breaks for you, and I sit here in prayers for strength that passes understanding. Take time to feel your grief...don't let anyone rush you. Everyone here loves you all and is praying for your entire family.

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  32. This is really great. I'm glad you can let this out. You have to. Don't worry about being fun for anyone else. You and your family need time to deal with your new life. And Amy is with you. She always will be. She is smiling for you now.
    Hugs and prayers, Lisa

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  33. Debbie,

    This is the first time I have come to your blog, but of course I have known about Amy and I am expressing my condolences now. I so apologize for not coming sooner, but I was able to get updates from Sherri and sweet Ashley.

    My heart goes out to you and your precious family. I have read some of your posts and I don't think a mother can love a child more than you love Amy.

    Don't worry about a 'happy' post for now. We are all here to listen and you express your feelings so well...

    Take care of yourself, my dear and I will be back.

    xoxo
    Jane

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  34. I can't get your off my mind today - as I go to bed - I'll be praying for you. Sandie

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  35. Dear Sweet Debbie....

    I thought of you all day today as two weeks ago this afternoon you laid your baby to rest. I thought you looked beautiful that day...such a strong way in which to honor your girl. Even in your darkest hour you pulled yourself together for her lovely memorial. I as in awe of you.

    Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you~lifting you up and asking the Lord to show you in a mighty way His continued love for you and your family.

    Love to you~

    Rebecca

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  36. Oh Debbie words are not enough to send to you. Your pain has to be just unbearable but you have taken a very big step today with this post.
    It is beautiful and it had to of drained you today for writing it.
    I read all the comments left to you and Debbie YOU are so loved by so many people. I know it is not the same as having your daughter back but please try to find some kind of comfort in knowing that so very many are praying for you and your family.
    We all don't have a clue what to really say to you except that we are so very sorry. I honestly think you are a very strong lady for doing a post like this.
    Amy was very lucky to have had such a sweet loving family and mother like she had. She is trying her best now to send you some peace. Reach up to heaven Debbie and know how much you are loved
    Always
    Maggie

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  37. HI Debbie,
    Hang in there and always keep Amy's memory alive and you are doing so well considering all you have been through.
    Everytime I see a Butterfly, I will think of Amy.
    hugs,
    jamie

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  38. Dear Debbie,
    Thank you for sharing Amy's funeral with all of us. I wish I lived nearby so that I could have been there in person. Even though we both know that you will be reunited one day, grief is still a difficult path. I am working on a plan for your painting of beautiful Amy in her white dress, and Dapper. It is easy for me to know how to paint her because you have shared so many pictures of her.

    I thought about you just yesterday, and how difficult it is to lose a daughter no less one who you have taken care of twenty four hours a day and helped nurse her through these years of cancer.

    You and your family are in my prayers every day.

    Blessings, Karen

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  39. A beautiful post! I laughed when I thought of your mother in law and the flowers. I'm very happy you kept the quilt. It will mean so much to you in the future to have something like that! I'm sure taking care of the cemetery is going to help you tremendously. Please remember that while your Amy is absent from you she is present with the Lord and there will be a great reunion one day and we will all be together, worshipping and there will be no more pain. I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through now. I can't even begin to imagine how deep it is for you. You have many friends here in blogging world and we are praying for you!!!

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  40. Hi Debbie. I just wanted to let you know that I think of you often.
    It is sooo hard to lose someone you love. I lost my mom at the young age of 45. She was soo young. This Nov 7th was 24 yrs that she had passed and I still miss her.
    We continue to lift your family up in prayers and know that the Lord is with us always. (HUGS)
    Sandra

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  41. Debbie,
    I am so happy you are back. It makes me smile through the tears. I love you my sister in life.
    Keep pulling those weeds honey.
    T

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  42. Dear Debbie,
    My heart aches for you and your husband and family... There just aren't any words that I can even begin to say that would help take away some of the pain of what you are feeling...It is so terribly hard having one's child die.. Our oldest son who was 43years old, passed away a year ago this past Sept., and the pain and hurt is still so fresh in my heart.. I know I'll see him and all my love one's again in Heaven..just like you'll see your sweet Amy and love one's too!

    Please know that I, too, have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers Debbie...

    I love all the beautiful butterflies!

    Love & Blessings,
    ~Lynn/OKC

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  43. Just wanted you to know I'm still thinking and praying for you guys. Just wanted you to know.

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  44. Hi Debbie:
    I tried to comment on your last post and it wouldn't let me, so I am going to try again now. I have dial up and I think it's just to slow to load all the way.
    I just wanted to stop by and say hi and see how you are doing. I feel so bad for you and your family, for your loss.
    You have a lot of people that care about you.

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  45. Debbie, I am so sorry for your loss. I Pray for your Peace and Comfort. Thoughts and Prayers are with you always. Blessings, Audrey

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  46. Hi Debbie,
    When I saw your post on my blog, I had to stop for a second and come visit. I am so sorry for your loss. Your daughter was a beautiful lady. I know that this is a very trying time right now. My father passed away on Dec. 22, a couple of years ago. It did make the holidays rather hard to bear. But things do get happier after the grief subsides. And those moments of crying when you think about her will change to thoughts of the happy times that you remember. It just takes time. So hang in there my new friend.
    Just look at all the friends you have here!!!
    Hugs & prayers
    Judy

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  47. Just to let you know I'm thinking about you
    today.

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  48. Hello Debbie, I'm sorry I haven't been by sooner. Please don't apologize for not moving on to "fun" posts. Blogs really started as online diaries and it obvious that writing about dear Amy is what you need for now. Dont rush. The time will come when you feel like writing about other things in your life. You will have happier posts and I'm guessing Amy will be your most loyal follower!
    Hugs,
    Dawn

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  49. Debbie..please know that you are still very much in my thoughts and prayers..as you go thru this sad time. i know the pain of losing a daughter in her 30's..it's rough now, but time is a great healer...we never forget, of course.
    May God give you the strength to carry on ...
    remembering all the good times with Amy!
    gypsy

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  50. It is the start of such a Beautiful Fall day and I said a silent prayer for Our Father to place his gentle hand on your shoulder to give you peace, strength and a feeling of Serenity.

    Your mind is probably ,whirling out of control while you try and recapture every moment reliving the past with sweet memories of Amy.

    In due time you will Let Go and Let God as He offers up new challenges and new directions in your life.

    In the meanwhile..Blessings
    Carol
    *Just look'in & not blogg'in

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  51. Debbie,

    This is my first visit here with you, my heart is overwhelmed and I just want to offer you my condolences for the loss of your beautiful daughter Amy.

    I can't even begin to imagine your pain but I take some comfort in knowing that you are strong in your faith and that you know Amy is now home with her heavenly Father. I know the same comforts you as well, but still my heart aches for you and your loss.

    I can see from the comments that you have support from many genuine people and I hope that gives you a bit of comfort as well. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Much love to you Debbie.

    (((((HUGS))))
    Karyn

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  52. Debbie: I so seldom read comments on the 25-challenge tatting blog; but, found yours when I updated. I had been praying for your daughter and felt mixed joy and empathy when she went home. My Mom died with Uterine Cancer and it was not a dignified end ~ but she, too knew the Lord. When she went home to be with Jesus, I suddenly felt joy unspeakable. She was released! I'm now 7 yrs out from breast cancer and 6 years out from 2 rounds of Ewing's Lymphoma.
    My heart goes out to you in your loss; but I KNOW the joy and healing she received when absent from the body. I'm glad she had the years she enjoyed with a loving Mother. Love, In Christ Bev ridgewoman@blogspot.com

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  53. Debbie,
    I have only just come across your blog, and i have been moved to tears by yours and Amys story. Hunnie, you are in my prayers and thoughts :)

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  54. Debbie,
    So glad you got your sign and I am glad you liked it! It is just my way of saying I am thinking of you and I care. Take care of yourself and give yourself time. God loves you and he will be with you all the way
    Love from TN!
    Lori

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  55. Good morning my sweet Oklohoma friend. Big Howdy from Texas and of course one of our famous HUGS.
    Just thinking about you this morning and wanted you to know it.
    Always
    Maggie

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  56. It's never easy to say good bye.
    If I said it was it would be a lie

    The heart is torn as if to break
    But Jesus did say: " It's Amy I take."

    "To live with me now out of her pain
    Showered with Love, soft as the rain"

    "She's by my side watching over you.
    Feel her presence in all that you do"

    The day will come when we all will meet
    Saying our prayers at Jesus' s feet

    So shed your tears as humans we must
    It's in almighty God we forever will Trust

    Like clay we are molded to be who we are
    Your Butterfly shines on like a distant star

    My heartfelt prayers are with you these days
    God's Comfort and Blessings be yours always

    Love and Light, Nina P

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  57. DEBBIE, I JUST READ YOUR COMMENT ON MY BLOG. ANOTHER ANGEL! I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR DUAGHTER... I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I AM OUT OF TOWN RIGHT NOW WITH MY HUSBAND..WHEN I GET BACK TO MY REGULAR COMPUTER I WILL EMAIL YOU. MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU! I FEEL AS IF MY HEART IS BROKEN INTO A MILLION PIECES. I HATE BEING AWAY FROM HOME - I THINK I HAVE TO GO TO THE CEMETERY EVERYDAY. I AM JUST LOST WITHOUT MY SWEET AMBER WITH ME. GOD BLESS YOU AND I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU. I AM CRYING AS I WRITE THIS WITH YOU.
    BLESSINGS & HUGS
    DONNA

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  58. while reading your post and trying to compose a comment, I have tears running down my cheeks. I am grieving for you and for what is inevitably in my family's future. Unlike you, I am so incapable of placing words in a paragraph to describe my emotions. I do so appreciate you sharing your experiences, you have provided wonderful lessons to ponder.

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  59. Debbie dear,

    I hope my coming to your blog this time brings a little joy.

    Please drop by my blog to collect an award and when you have the time, please play along...

    Blessing to you and family.
    rtl.

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  60. My heart breaks for your loss!I think you have a lot of mothering left in you - think of all the young women who do not have a mother like you, who need a mother like you, a spiritual mother - mentor them, guide the, pray for them, and love them - there are spiritual daughters out there spiritually and emotionally starving for that mothering passion within! I know because I used to be one of those daughters - until a spiritual mother came into my life. She said, "We so need to be needed." And I so needed!

    I will be praying for your heart!

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  61. Hello Debbie,
    I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
    It looks and sounds like you had some very grand times with your daughter.
    You asked on my blog about the drawing community I belong to.
    Drawspace is a great place to learn how to draw, as well as lots of motivation for the experienced artist, with many lessons, challenges and lots of support as well as some new interactive classes.
    Drawspace is a large community, but you will find it has a core group who keep things going and support each other.
    I hope you will come check us out.
    Thank you for the lovely comment on my blog.

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  62. Just wondering how you were doing today . . .

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  63. Oooh I LOVE all the buttflies for Amy... so lovely... I will never look at a butterfly again without thinking of her.

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  64. Dear Debbie,
    May God comfort you during this grieving time of the passing of Amy.
    I am without words to comfort you, but am thinking about you and saying prayers when you come to mind.

    d from homehaven

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  65. Oh my dearest Lady!~I am reading this in the deepest of empathy and sorrow!~ (I have lost several dear ones recently), yet there is no pain like the loss of a child!..,I cry for you!

    Thank-you so very much for reaching out to my friend Scone Queen at The Tea trolley blog!~ That was so kind in the midst of your unspeakable loss!..,

    I am deeply, deeply sorry at the loss of your precious beloved daughter and rejoice with you that she is with the Lord and no longer suffering; yet your loss is unspeakable!

    You and your dear family will be in my prayers for a long, long time to come!..,

    (It is in the wee hours of the morning, as I am working on my Tuesday Tea For Two blog posting to get a head start, so I must "off to bed")!..,

    lOVE , HUGS, TEARS AND PRAYERS, MOST SINCERELY FROM SILKEN PURSE

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  66. Dear Debbie,

    Thank you for visiting my blog this morining. I am so sad for you and your husband. Yours is an incredible loss, yet your comment about the fact that your dear daughter has WON her battle with that terrible disease is so true. So for her, I am so happy! I know that the moment she took her last breath here, she breathed her very first eternal breath in heaven where she is no longer in pain, where she is absolutely free to be the person God created her to be without any restriction of suffering. My prayers are with you and your lovely family at this time. I will stop by often to see you and please come visit me. Know that God understands your pain, as he once watched his only Son die, and His heart broke that day as well.

    In Chirst,

    Rose

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  67. Dear Debbie, I don't personally know you, but my heart is broken in a million pieces for you and your lovely family. I only wish right now, that I could comfort you in some way. Don't ever forget how lucky you were to be a mother to such a beautiful and amazing young woman!! My prayers are with all of you.

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  68. Hellow Sweet D...

    Oh girly...I've thought of you today it was three weeks ago this day your sweetie was laid to rest. I think of you every day and pray your spirit is renewed by our loving, gracious Father in Heaven.

    Thank you for visiting. This is such a busy time for me and I never stop until right before Christmas. A year ago this month my precious Grammy passed away and my only brother was diagnosed with kidney cancer. We were in Cali three times last year...we couldn't afford any of the trips because of the economy and the slow-down in sales. But...God has been faithful to provide. So...this year I promised myself I would NOT complain about the work-load. Just press on through it and be grateful for ANY special order or sale...

    Anyway...this year my honey and I are doing the music for my father's nursing home for Christmas. It should be fun...sorta like the old days when we would go every Sunday to the hospitals and homes to minister. Only now my daddy is in one... :(.

    Love to you...

    Rebecca

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  69. Dear Debbie,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I've just met you, but you and your family will be in my prayers starting tonight.

    Janelle

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  70. Thanks to you angel for leaving a comment for me to know you. I just created a post for you and for all those who watch their butterflies fight the winds and finally rest. Blessings. Come back to my place and I hope have a moment of comfort. I can only try to send that to you and your family.

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  71. I have a little gift for you over at a Life Restored Blog.

    It is my hope to pull you up and out a bit . It is a hard thing to pull up grab my hand and the hand of all of us around you. reach out and let others help you pull up to a place that is level your heart will slowly begin to heal. take courage Debbie. See how very many who love you are hear for you. That is the truth, you are loved.

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  72. Debbie ~ My thoughts and prayers are still with you!

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  73. Hi Debbie, I was thinking about you and wanted to pop in and say hi... email me when you can I'm sending you hugs and love and prayers always. Love Jennifer : )

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  74. Hey...Debbie...Just letting you know I am still her..and still thinking of you everyday!
    T

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  75. Praying that you will feel the Holy Spirit wrapped around you like a warm, downy comforter. Your daughter is free to be the perfected soul God intended her to be for eternity. We cannot even imagine what heaven is like. Words can't describe the Presence of God and His Beauty all around. I challenge you to read 1 Chronicles 28...noting the divine pattern of the Temple...verse 2 mentions that God's house of rest here on earth would hold the Lord's footstool! Imagine God seated on His Throne in heaven and His Precious Feet resting in His Temple...
    Amy is with Jesus. Let that be a comfort to you during your time of mourning. Spend time resting at His Feet and ask Him to minister to you through this deep sorrow. It is His honor to minister to His children.
    Thank you for sharing Amy with us. She will wear a glorious crown, but offer it to her Lord, Sweet Jesus. What a gift for Him.
    You will be in my prayers.
    Deborah

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  76. Howdy Debbie
    Oh my sweet precious sister in Christ.
    You are so brave and so loving.
    Thank you for the beautiful post it is such a blessing.
    I love the plans you have for Amy's resting place.
    Her photo is beautiful like her spirit.
    Amy is proud of your strong faith and determined spirit.
    Your love is so strong it is like God's love a bright ray of hope that pours forth for all to enjoy if they choose.
    When the nay sayers come remember to put your fingers in your ears and stick out your tongue or hum some silly little rhyme after all they do need something to entertain them :)
    I 'm sorry that was mean but seriously don't let the negative nellies get in your way .
    Amy saw beyond that to the real truth that God is big and beautiful and loving .
    I am so sorry I have no real words but I think that only you and Richard and God can find those together as the rest of watch and wish we could help.
    You are always in my prayers !
    God bless you as you move forward one breath at a time ,one step at a time and let the tears flow as needed.
    The Lord Bless you sweetie !
    Big Hugs

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  77. Debbie... I am sitting here stunned that I somehow did not see this post. I have checked regularly for posts from you. I have left messages on the other post, and yet, here this is! How on earth did that happen???

    I just came by today because it's Pink Saturday, and I found this. I have read every word.

    Please know I am sending you a HUGE hug across the miles. This was so very touching and heartfelt, and I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for you to bear this pain. You are just the best mother EVER. A loving and wonderful one. I am awed by you and how much you loved your child. Richard, too.

    Jesus sees and knows, and thank goodness he has made it possible for us to all be together in Heaven. If I don't meet you this side of Glory, please know that I will find you when we are on the other side just to laugh and sing and enjoy the Lord and each other's company. And yes, even our voices will be perfected so we will sing in perfect harmony! :-)

    The thing that washes over me is the knowledge that the next time you see Amy, she will be WHOLE, HEALED, HAPPY! That thought is so glorioius to me! I know it is to you, too, sweet Debbie.

    This time right now is like going through the Valley of the Shadow. Your every waking thought has been for Amy these past months (years), and it is really going to be an adjustment. We are here for you. Know that.

    I was thinking about this. My grandmother who is one of the persons I loved most in this life used to bake the most glorious cupcakes for me. I want to believe that she was waiting at the Golden Gates with a big plate of them for Amy! I have no idea what it is like to lose a child, but I do know what it is like to lose many, many people I love and who loved me. You are not alone, Debbie, and you will get through this. My aunt lost her son, and she did. He died an excruitating death. It doesn't mean you don't miss them and feel like there's a crater in your heart, but the Lord can heal that, too. He is the ONLY one who can. Draw close to Him. Let Him comfort you. And let your sisters in the Lord help you to walk this path.

    Love you much, sweet girl...

    XO,

    Sheila

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  78. Debbie-I think of you everyday and continue to pray for your family. I love the picture of Amy. in the post below. Revelations 21:4 He will wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, now crying, nor pain. All of that has gone forever. Praise God for the hope we have in Jesus and for his wonderful plans...I can't wait he promises to reunite us with our loved ones. I have finally been able to go and pull out the special poem that I received when my mother went home, I want to send it to you in a card, it was 3 years ago Nov. 15th and I miss her terribly and my dad was 7 years ago. I know the holidays will never be the same for you and we are coming into them, all I can say is you have the right focus on Jesus and he will comfort you. Hugs, Michelle

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  79. Good morning Debbie
    I have not heard from you so then I worry. So drop me a note and let me know how you are. OK
    Is there anything you want to post for sale because on Mondays I am going to do a post for all my followers and list what they make and sell or anything else. Except I do not sell husbands. hahahaha
    Love
    Maggie

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  80. Still thinking and praying for you and your family - hope everything is okay (relatively speaking) - missed our chats. Sandie

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  81. We are think and pray for you and all you family.
    The picture of Amy is a very lovely one, and her percious butterfly is a wonderful touch,I know she loved them so.
    I wish I could do some thing...I hurt for you my dear.
    Gracie

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  82. Debbie, you need to know that this blog is YOUR blog, and if it helps YOU to blog about your pain, then that's what your blog should be about. A parent is not supposed to have to watch their child die. We are supposed to go before our children. You have suffered so much, and I know you will continue to suffer. I cry for you; I pray for you; I send you my love. It's all I can offer, and I will continue to offer it, and you say whatever you want to say on your blog. I'll be here to listen. With love, laurie

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debbie