Monday, November 23, 2009

WHAT WAS, IS NOT

"CHANGE IS A MEASURE OF TIME AND,
IN THE AUTUMN, TIME SEEMS SPEEDED UP.
WHAT WAS IS NOT AND NEVER AGAIN WILL BE,
WHAT IS IS CHANGE."
~EDWIN TEALE



I THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS, BEAUTIFUL



CARDS, AND THE SWEET GIFTS. THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME



MY HUSBAND AND MY MOTHER HAVE RECEIVED MUCH



JOY READING YOUR CARDS.



IT IS VERY COMFORTING TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE PRAYING



FOR YOU .



I KNOW MY DAUGHTER, AMY DAWN, IS IN THE SAFE ARMS



OF OUR JESUS AND I REJOICE....BUT FOR 33 YEARS OF MY LIFE



I HUGGED MY DAUGHTER ON THANKSGIVING DAY. I WATCHED HER FIX HER



DELICIOUS CRAB SALAD TO TAKE TO GRANNY'S HOUSE, AND I WATCHED



HER LAUGH AND TALK AND THIS YEAR...THIS THANKSGIVING.... MY HUSBAND



AND I WILL VISIT OUR DAUGHTER'S GRAVE AND TRY TO EMBRACE THE



WIND, WHERE JUST ONCE MORE WE MIGHT CATCH A FAINT SMELL OF HER.



THERE ARE NO WORDS THAT MAKE IT BETTER...THERE IS NO PAIN PILL



THAT WILL DULL THE PAIN, AND NO ANTI-ANXIETY PILL THAT WILL STOP



THE PANIC ATTACKS THAT CAUSE YOUR HEART TO HAVE PVC'S.



PRAYING TO JESUS IS HARD SOMETIMES...NOT BECAUSE I AM MAD AT



HIM....I LOVE HIM MORE THAN EVER....BUT I HAVE NO WORDS. RICHARD,



MY DH AND I PLAY A LOT OF CHRISTIAN MUSIC.



I SAW THE SOUL OF MY DAUGHTER LEAVE HER BODY AND HER BODY JUST BECAME



A WAXY SHELL......AND SEEING IT, MAKING FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS,



PURCHASING HER PLOT TO REST IN, AND THE FUNERAL....WATCHING THEM



SEAL HER VAULT...........I STILL FIND IT DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE SHE IS GONE.



WHAT IS, IS NOT.



WHAT WAS, CAN BE NO MORE...AND IT HURTS SO BAD.



LET US REMEMBER THE FOLLOWING IN PRAYER...........


PASTOR MARNEY, AUNT JEAN, ASHLEY, ANDREW, KERRIE AND BILL, IRENE,

OUR TROOPS AS THEY SERVE TO KEEP OUR COUNTRY FREE, BECCA, TAWNA,

MIKE, DORIS AND RICHARD, PAM, PATRICIA, ROY AND ELISABETH,

SALLY, CAROL, MILT, HEALING IN FORT HOOD OVER 11/05/09,

ANASTASIA, DONNA, ALL THOSE WHO ARE HURTING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

OVER THE LOST OF A LOVED ONE


DEAR HEAVENLY FATHER,

I THANK YOU LORD FOR LOVING ME AND FOR TAKING AMY HOME, TO BE

WITH YOU WHERE SHE IS PAIN FREE...I KNOW HEAVEN IS A LITTLE

DIFFERENT SINCE SHE GOT BACK HOME BUT OUR LIFE WAS DIFFERENT

AND GLORIOUS FOR 33 YEARS. I PRAY LORD THERE WILL BE HEARTS

HEALED THIS THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY AND MAY THERE BE A REVIVAL

LORD FOR PEOPLE RUSHING BACK FOR YOUR SAVING GRACE. MAY

PEOPLE REALIZE THAT IT IS NOT ABOUT THE MATERIAL BUT TO

BE YOUR HANDS EXTENDED. I THANK YOU LORD FOR BLESSING THE

ANGELS IN MY LIFE. I PRAISE YOU JESUS BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTHY

TO BE PRAISED. PLEASE LORD, REMIND PRECIOUS AMY HOW MUCH HER

DADDY AND I LOVE AND MISS HER.

LET NOT ONE PERSON GO HUNGRY LORD.

AMEN AND AMEN


ANGEL HUGS






47 comments:

  1. Debbie...May I put my arms around you,and may I softy kiss you tear stained cheek.
    My heart breaks for you, and you husband.I and Mr.B and I are in faithful prayer for you all. May His beautiful peace souround you.
    One day at a time.My sister...
    I will hold up to the Lord, those on your prayer list.
    Gracie

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  2. Such a beautiful prayer. I am so sorry again Debbie. I wish there was more I could do. Sending prayers, love and hugs your way this holiday season,
    Amy

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  3. Dear Debbie, I've been thinking of you alot and want to send a huge hug your way! I'm sure Amy is still around you as she is in Heaven also. I have felt the presence of loved ones around me after they have passed and it is so comforting to know that the soul goes on, only the body "dies", and I know your dear Amy girl is still loving you just as much as she ever has! (((BIG HUGS)))) sweetie!

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  4. Debbie,
    I think of you and pray for you and I am so sorry for your pain. Your tributes to your daughter are just beautiful and no one can totally understand your horrible pain. I hope you can find a moment of peace on this Thanksgiving and know that so many of us are thinking of you every day. Hugs, Cindy

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  5. Dear Debbie, I know all of us are feeling the depth of your loss...I am so saddened for you, and can feel your pain. The words you've written come from deep within your being, they are so soft and sweet, a loving memory of a daughter that is still loved so much. I'm reaching out with arsm to hug and hold you, as are so many of us...if only we could reach through the computer and touch you so you would know how much we all care. Praying the peace of God cover you throughout this season. Praying for those on your list, that they will be touched by God. Praying that you will look for the future and the hope that God has promised for your life, and that you find the rest you need in His arms, as Amy now is resting in His arms.

    God bless you, dear Debbie.

    Mary

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  6. Dear Debbie, I am sending prayers your way this Thanksgiving. I know your heart is breaking and every day without Amy by your side is unbelievably painful. Take care and may your family and faith give you comfort.

    xoxo
    Claudia

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  7. Thinking of you and praying for you. It must be unbearably difficult for you, especially during the holidays. I wish you strenght and peace and love.
    Doris

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  8. You've been on my mind and in my heart so much lately. I can't begin to imagine the hurt that your heart feels...I pray every night that He helps you through this and with each day your heart feels less and less sadness and in it's place...you feel those fluttering wings...I truly believe she's with you, Debbie. Always leave room in your heart for "your angel" to dance......

    Hugs & Prayers
    ♥Kath

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  9. God bless you and your family, Debbie! I'm thinking of you all, especially this week

    Blessings,
    Sandi

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  10. God bless you and your family (((hugs))).

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  11. Sweetie, she's just in her winter. What was, will be again. At the Glorious Appearing she shall rise to meet her Lord Jesus Christ. As I am sure you will be right at her side. Take comfort. His eye is on the sparrow, and He's, too, watching you.

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  12. Hugging you tight over the miles, Debbie. I wish there was something I could do. I hurt with you and send all my prayers your way.

    XO,

    Sheila

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  13. Hugs and prayers still going your way.

    Rose

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  14. Hi Debbie,
    I'm so glad you posted because I lost your email address when my computer stopped working last week. I tried to get your email from your profile but for some reason I can't. Please email me soon as I miss hearing from you. I am sending my love across the miles to you and Richard. I pray that each new day brings some relief from your pain over losing Amy and that the pain is replaced with beautiful memories of her. Blessings and hugs, Loretta

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  15. Hi Debbie!!!!
    You are still in my thoughts and prayers, I thought of you the day I went to my friend's daughter's funeral, I cannot imagine loosing a child, I know God must give you an extra hand to hold on to. I hope you have a good week this week and enjoy Thanksgiving day with family, rememeber all the joyous days you had with your lovely Amy Dawn!!!
    hugs,
    jamie

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  16. Debbie, your faith is so strong and I know how you are feeling, I still carry the pain and miss my son every day......it is my faith that helps ease the loss as it will be your faith that will see you through this holiday and those that are to come.....I pray for you and your family daily, may all the prayers from those who care for you either through the computer or in your life bring you comfort.....Hugs and prayers always

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  17. Yes, Amy is safe in Heaven now, but she is missed on earth. A spark has gone from the earth: your precious daughter and all her little ways...so hard to take any time, and most especially at the holidays.

    The other night we had a power outage due to our high winds. My husband moved our candle. As he walked, he cupped his hand around the flame. When he did that, it went dark on my side of the room. But the candle was still burning, and the hand that blocked the light was the hand that was shielding it from being extinguished.

    God has his hand around Amy, and we can't see her now...but she is there...I know you miss her HERE...

    Glad to see your post, my friend. I know it is hard for you to post, but your words are like balm to others who have lost a loved one or maybe even lost their way in life and faith.

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  18. Debbie, We are lifting your family up this Thanksgiving. I wish I could do more for you. Perhaps you could feel my cyber hug? (((♥))) Continue to stay close to Jesus. He will give you what you need to help you along your life's journey without Amy. Much love sent your way. ginny

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  19. Oh Debbie, you and your family must be so sad and hurt. You take all the time you need to grieve for your baby girl, we understand. I wish there was something we could all do for you, but just know we're here to listen whenever you need to vent and you are STILL in my prayers as I'm guessing this time is harder than what came before, when you still had your Amy. God Bless.

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  20. Wishing you a peaceful Thanksgiving Debbie.
    Hugs,
    Dawn

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  21. Oh Sweet Debbie, my heart aches for you and your loving family. I know that right now you all feel so broken and unfixable. You should know that your Amy is in the arms of the Lord, being held tightly and so full of love and warmth. Angels are singing and the air is filled with all things beautiful. Amy would want you to have Thanksgiving, think of her, tell stories and remember all the good days, make her special salad and rejoice in all that is good and great with life and living. Each day on earth is a gift and none of us knows how long we have. Love each other and hold your family near, we don't know what tomorrow brings. I am so very sad for all of you, everything you are going thru now is a first. You will be experiencing firsts for a long time and it will not be easy. Lean on each other and be tender and kind. You will come thru this one day. Until then, we all continue to pray for you and hope you can find some peace in living, Char

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  22. Dearest Debbie, Have no good words for comfort, but will send hugs and prayers and much love to you and Richard across the miles.
    Buttercup

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  23. You created your child... and therefore, her essence is shining through you to the world. I hope this pain eases enough for you to feel pleasure again. Love you, and hugs, sweetie. **squeeze**

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  24. Debbie, As I've prepared for this holiday, I have thought of you often and said a prayer for you and your family each time. I know that I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, but please know that I, and a lot of other people, are praying for you. With love, laurie

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  25. Dear Debbie,
    Please know that you and your family continue to be in our prayers.

    Janelle

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  26. Oh Debbie you are so right there are no words that any of us can say but we all love you and want you to be well and to take of yourself.
    I know these holidays are so very hard and I myself can not even imagine the pain but just know that Debbie you are thought of everyday and I miss your emails.
    Maggie

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  27. Debbie, I was so happy to read your comment, please feel free to visit anytime....I only want you to know everything you are feeling no matter how painful is normal, you will have good and bad days my friend but the love and support of your family and friends and your strong faith will bring you comfort. Grief is a personal journey and takes a long time Debbie, be kind to yourself and know that Amy is now pain free and with the Lord...she knows you miss her but she also wants you to pray and live for her.....you and your family are in my heart and prayers....I am so glad to have met you through Heidi who loved Amy so very much, so much pain for all who knew, love and miss her....hold on tight my friend....:-) Hugs

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  28. What a beautiful post. The journey you are on is such a hard one. The holidays will be hard and they are still hard for me with my dad gone. This will be the second year without him and just like you, the pain is still there, but there is comfort in knowing that he is without pain, just as your Amy is! It's so hard to go on without them but knowing the reunion that is coming is what we cling to! THank you for coming by for a visit with me yesterday and your beautiful comment! God is using you to help others who are suffering with the loss of their loved ones. I hope and pray this Thanksgiving will be a good one for you. Stay strong...you are SO strong!!!

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  29. Debbie, I know the holidays will be especially hard this year, but I pray for a Blessed, Peaceful and Happy Thanksgiving for your whole family. Thanks so much for stopping by. Love you and God Bless. Hugs, Marty

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  30. Many Thanksgiving Blessings to you and your family….Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

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  31. I have missed you and am glad to read your wonderful post. The first Holiday is always the pits! God Bless you and your Sweetie, Love, Kerrie

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  32. Again, I feel your pain and there are just no words or anything I feel I can do to take them away. Change isn't always good is it? Again just know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  33. My Dear Debbie,

    You and your family are in my heart this Thanksgiving. May your memories of Angel Amy bring you joy and peace and may your tears in time turn to tears of of joy in knowing that she is safe and in no pain in our Father's arms.

    May you look up at the evening sky sprinkled wtih sparkling stars and find peace and joy knowing that the star shining brightly is your darling Angel Amy. May you rejoyce in the blue sky with puffy white clouds knowing that Angel Amy is watching over you and everyone who loves her . . and next time you see lovely pink clouds in the sky, may you rejoyce in knowing that your darling Angel Amy is racing around heaven on a pink bicycle.
    God Bless you and your family and may you have a peaceful Thanksgiving.
    Love,
    Erin and Bentley

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  34. Dropping by again, Debbie, to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending you much, much love.

    I wish I had one of those silly cupcake cars that would fly across the miles so I could drop in and visit with you. Since this is the closet thing I do have, please know I'm giving you a great big hug.

    Love you, girl...

    XO,

    Sheila :-)

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  35. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. I know this will be a difficult time for you all. I will be saying a special prayer for you. Love Becca

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  36. Hi Debbie, I know this Thanksgiving is going to be hard but I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving...Your in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs and love always....Jennifer

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  37. Oh Debbie my heart is heavy with the sorrow you are going through, but please know you remain in my thoughts and prayers.
    I just sent you an email to the addy you have on your blog. Thought I'd let you know here in case it decides to take a detour in your spam folder or something. If you don't get it, let me know and I'll resend it.
    Thank you for sharing that beautiful prayer.
    God's Blessings and Comfort be with you.
    Alexandria

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  38. Enjoy your Thanksgiving Dear to your best. You'll be in my thoughts.
    -Randy

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  39. Debbie-Many prayers are being said for you and your famiy, I continue to pray too, there have been many times where I have no words, but we know the holy spirts takes our cries and our moans when we can utter no words and he goes on our behalf to the Lord with our requests and our needs, He knows, he has a plan, all in his timing, he is with us. In the last days the deceiving will be good will be evil and evil will be good....feels like there are many signs around us. We need to listen and be prepared. I am thankful this thanksgiving as every day that God has promoised to wipe away our tears, no more pain and reunite us with our loved ones to live with Him forever. What a wonderful promise. God is good. Amen and Amen. Hugs.

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  40. Oh Debbie you are so right. There are just no words that can be spoken, no pill to be taken, that is going to take this pain away. Every mama out here in blogland (and all around you as well I'm sure) can feel your pain. My heart just breaks for you. I'm sure you dream about that reunion to come. I just wish I could reach out and give you a big hug. I pray for you every night, and I will continue to do so. May the Lord wrap His arms around this holiday season and carry you through. Bless you, Debbie

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  41. Morning My Dear Friend, Happy Thanksgiving to you and Richard and the rest of your family.
    Your post is beautiful and I don't think I need to tell you that I pray for you especially today. Things will get better, God will turn your face to the sunshine and the world will be beautiful.
    I still worry about you, but you know that Amy would not want you to grieve, she would want you to celebrate her life.
    Roy and I got your beautiful card and we were touched by your words.
    Remember you can honor Amy by living your life to the fullest.

    Love you,
    Barbara

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  42. Debbie - you are always on my mind. EVERY time I get online for my blog - I think of You. I pray for each of you. Words alone cannot touch - but I know the One Who does - and I know YOU do as well. I love you so very much. I know Amy impacted the Kingdom of God for ETERNITY. I am so grateful to know you and your family. I am so grateful to watch the grace of God that rests upon you and in you. Thank You for your courageous walks.

    May this day be full of Thanksgiving for what was, what is, what will always be (Jesus). You will be in my thoughts and prayers today. We love you!!

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  43. Debbie my heart grieves with you. Saturday we will be going to a funeral of the son of an old friend. This is her second son to die in two years. The first had committed suicide. This son died of a massive heart attack. The mother's name is Katy. Please remember her in your prayers....one mother to another. Lifting you and your family in prayer....ginny

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  44. Oh Debbie there are no words to ease your pain and sorrow. Just know that you are being held in His arms, surrounded by His Glorious Angles, Holding you, guiding you through this difficult time. May God Bless you and Keep you and grant you His Peace and Understanding. Love and Light, Nina P

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Blessings
Angel Hugs
debbie