Thursday, December 24, 2009

A BOY ANGEL FOR ANDREW AND JORDEN AND GIRL ANGELS FOR OUR DAUGHTERS CELEBRATING THEIR FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN

MERRY CHRISTMAS AMY DAWN.
DADDY, ME, RICHIE, MEGAN, GRANNY AND POPS, UNCLE TEDDY, LEILA AND KORBI
AUNT SHERRY AND UNCLE TONY, AND ALL YOUR SMITH COUSINS, AND AUNT SUSIE
AND UNCLE MILT, LAURA AND JACKSON, AND JORDAN, THE HOARDS, BETTY JO
AND JOHN, GRANDMOTHER AND PAPA, AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS AT K MART THAT
LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH AND A HOST OF BEAUTIFUL BLOGGERS WHO WERE SO
KIND TO SEND YOU SUCH BEAUTIFUL CARDS, GIFTS, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THE
MILLIONS OF PRAYERS THAT WAS OFFERED UP TO THE THRONE ROOM OF MERCY AND
GRACE. I MISS YOU SO MUCH MY LITTLE BUTTERFLY, I CAN HARDLY STAND THE
PAIN BUT JESUS IS KEEPING ME TOGETHER AND I KNOW YOU ARE LOOKING OVER
ALL OF US AND PRAYING FOR RESTORATION TO COME. ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT
I TOLD YOU SO MANY TIMES.....IF I HAD GONE TO HEAVEN MYSELF I WOULD
HAVE PICKED YOU AND YOUR BROTHER IMMEDIATELY. YOU WERE ALWAYS MY
FAVORITE DAUGHTER AND RICHIE MY FAVORITE SON. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
PRECIOUS AND YOU ARE ALIVE IN HEAVEN WITH JESUS.....I SO WISH WE
COULD TALK AND YOU COULD TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY AND MEETING
JESUS, THE KING OF KINGS.
THERE IS A DEAR FRIEND OF BARBARA'S THAT HER HUSBAND PASSED JUST A
COUPLE OF HOURS BEFORE YOU. HE IS GREEK AND VERY FUNNY AND HE IS
CHEERING HIS WIFE ON EVERY DAY.
I WILL KEEP A LIGHT BURNING FOR YOU IN THE WINDOW. YOU WERE THE
LIGHT OF MY LIFE AND STILL ARE. YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. YOUR
COUSIN TJ WROTE YOU A VERY SWEET, HEART-FELT COMMENT THAT HE WILL
ALWAYS KEEP YOUR SPIRIT ALIVE AND TELL HIS CHILDREN ALWAYS ABOUT
YOU. DESTINY AND ISABEL LOVE YOU ALSO VERY MUCH.
DADDY FOUND YOUR PAINTINGS...IT WAS AS EXCITING AS WINNING A MILLION
DOLLARS......SO VERY BEAUTIFUL PRECIOUS AND I HAD FORGOT ALL ABOUT
YOUR NUMEROUS PAINTINGS.....I AM GOING TO TALK TO THE ART STUDIO HERE
ABOUT DOING A SHOWING OF ALL YOUR WORK AND SHARE WHAT A BRAVE
SOLDIER YOU WERE. I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHAT I FIND OUT PRECIOUS.
YOU WERE SO TALENTED PUMPKIN. I'M SURE YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF
ALL THE ANIMALS, AND PAINTING EVERY WHERE THAT JESUS ALLOWS YOU.
YOU WERE/WAS/ AND ARE STILL AN AWESOME DAUGHTER. NO WONDER JESUS
WANTED YOU TO COME HOME AND ALL THE OTHER PRECIOUS CHILDREN THAT
ARE SPENDING THEIR FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN AND OUR FIRST
CHRISTMAS WITHOUT OUR CHILDREN.
GRANNY ALREADY HAS YOUR CHAIR FIXED UP FOR DINNER TOMORROW.
YOUR RED COWGIRL BOOTS ARE HANGING FROM THE BACK OF YOUR CHAIR
THAT YOU ALWAYS SET IN..........IT IS HANGING FROM A BEAUTIFUL BOW.
THE LADY THAT MADE THE BOW ASK GRANNY WHAT THE BOW WAS FOR.....
GRANNY BEGAN TO CRY AS SHE TOLD ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY....THE LADY
GRABBED GRANNY AND SAID HER MOTHER, WHO IS 60 YEARS OLD IS BATTLING
THE SAME KIND OF CANCER.....SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE SLICED AND DICED
THE WAY DR. MEDINA WANTS TO DO, EXCEPT FOR YOU IN AUGUST, AND HER
MOTHER REFUSED CHEMO AND DID JUST 30 RADIATION TREATMENTS....MY
HEART BLEEDS FOR THE BOTH OF THEM, AMY, AS YOUR JOURNEY WAS SO
VERY PAINFUL. SHE SAID SHE JUST HOPED THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO SPEND
CHRISTMAS TOGETHER. IT IS SO VERY SAD......THEN WE MET A YOUNG GUY
WHO BATTLED THE SAME CANCER AND HE WENT TO MD ANDERSON AFTER
DR. MEDINA WANTED TO CUT HIS FACE APART.....HE HAS SEVERE RADIATION
SCARS AND HIS NECK IS SUNK IN BUT HE MADE IT....HE SAID YOU HAD TO BE
ONE AWESOME LADY TO GO THROUGH WHAT HE HAD BEEN THROUGH.....250
POUND GUY AND HE LOST DOWN TO 98 POUNDS......I CAN'T SAY IT ENOUGH,
AMY DAWN HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH.
I AM HUGGING YOU REAL TIGHT.




THERE WAS A BEAUTIFUL LADY WHO GAVE PERMISSION TO USE THIS INVITATION.




I AM SO VERY SORRY I DON'T REMEMBER YOUR NAME...PLEASE LET ME KNOW




SO I CAN GIVE YOU CREDIT. I WAS LOOKING THROUGH MY GRAPHICS AND THERE WAS




THIS BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY CARD WITH A BUTTERFLY. IT IS THE BIRTHDAY




OF JESUS AND HE WANTS US TO COME UNTO HIM. A LITTLE BABY THAT WOULD




CHANGE HISTORY FOREVER....AND SUFFERED UNBELIEVABLE PAIN THAT WOULD




GIVE US ETERNAL LIFE WITH HIM FOREVER AND EVER.....A FREE CHRISTMAS




PRESENT, IF I MAY USE SOME CREATIVE WRITING HERE, 24 HOURS A DAY/ 7




DAYS A WEEK......YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE. IF YOU ARE READING MY BLOG




AND YOU WANT TO GIVE YOUR HEART TO JESUS, JUST E MAIL ME AND I WILL PRAY




WITH YOU AND INTRODUCE YOU TO CHRIST. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS




VERY PRIVATE....IT IS A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST ON A




DAILY BASIS.




HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS.



I LOVE YOU AND CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTH. WITHOUT YOU DEAR JESUS AND YOUR




WORD I WOULD NOT HAVE EVEN MADE IT TO THIS POINT. THANK YOU FOR




SENDING YOUR PRECIOUS HOLY SPIRIT AS A COMFORTER. THANK YOU LORD




FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE AND NEVER TURNING YOUR BACK ON ME.




I THANK YOU LORD FOR ALL THE PRECIOUS BLOGGERS THAT HAVE VISITED MY




BLOG AND I AM OVER WHELMED THAT ANYONE IS EVEN INTERESTED IN WHAT I




HAVE TO SAY.









I WAS SOOOOOO VERY EXCITED TO FIND THIS BOY ANGEL. IT IS A MEMORIAL FOR




JORDEN AND ANDREW AND ANY OTHER MALE THAT PASSED THIS YEAR.




JORDEN IS BECKY'S SON FROM SWEET COTTAGE DREAMS. SHE IS JUST THE SWEETEST




LADY YOU WILL EVER MEET AND BLOG WITH....SHE IS SO TALENTED AND WAS




RECENTLY A GUEST AT DAISY COTTAGE. A BEAUTIFUL ARTICLE.




ANDREW WAS JUST 12 YEARS OLD WHEN HE PASSED, ON DECEMBER 15, 2009.




MELANIE IS HIS MOTHER AND SHE HAS A BLOG THAT IS FULL OF INSPIRATION




AND FAITH. I PRAY FOR HER AND HER FAMILY...SHE WAS/IS A WONDERFUL MOTHER.




I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU ALL THIS CHRISTMAS MORNING AS OUR CHILDREN





ARE CELEBRATING IN HEAVEN, JESUS'S BIRTHDAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME AND OUR




HEARTS ARE SO BROKEN.





DID YOU EVER RIDE YOUR BICYCLE IN THE SNOW?












AMY WILL HAVE A WHITE MEMORIAL TREE THIS YEAR. IT WILL STAY UP FOR A
YEAR AND MAYBE LONGER WITH ALL HER FAVORITE THINGS HANGING FROM IT.
I CALL IT THE PEACE TREE AS THAT IS WHAT WE SO NEED AND IT IS SO HARD
TO FIND SOME TIMES. IT IS A WHITE TREE AND MY MOTHER BOUGHT IT AT
THE THRIFT STORE.















MOTHER'S TREE, (WHICH ISN'T LIKE THIS ONE), THIS YEAR IS CALLED THE HOPE
TREE BECAUSE EVERY ORNAMENT ON IT WAS BOUGHT FROM HOPE OUTREACH
COMMUNITY THRIFT SHOP....MY MOTHER HAS BEAUTIFUL ORNAMENTS FROM
YEARS PAST BUT THIS YEAR SHE NEEDED A HOPE TREE...WITHOUT HOPE YOU
HAVE NOTHING.
WHEN MY CAMERA DECIDES TO WORK AGAIN, I WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE SOME
AWESOME PICTURES.
THANK GOD FOR MOTHERS.
I LOVE YOU MOTHER AND DADDY BUT YOU, MOTHER ARE THE HEART OF
CHRISTMAS.




















THIS LITTLE LIGHT/FLAME WILL BURN CONTIOUSLY FOR.....
1. AMY DAWN
2. JORDEN
3. STACEY......JUDY IN WEST VIRGINIA
4. AMBER...DONNA FROM SUGAR AND SPICE/ SOUTHERN LIFE
5. ANDREW...A VERY BRAVE SOLDIER WHO WON HIS BATTLE AND THE LORD
CALLED HIM HOME...NOW HE IS SKATEBOARDING IN HEAVEN.
6. SAM, I PRAY IS THE RIGHT NAME WHO WON HER BATTLE AND WAS CALLED
HOME.....SHE IS THE LITTLE NIECE OF EDITH MARIES/SHERRY'S BLOG. SO PRECIOUS.
7. ALL THOSE ON THE BLOG WHO HAVE HAD LOVED ONES PASS....WE SHALL REMEMBER
THEM ALWAYS AND NEVER FORGET WHAT A BRIGHT AND SHINING STAR THEY ARE.
AFTER CHRISTMAS I WILL PUT THEIR NAMES ON MY RIGHT SIDE BAR......BELOW A
CANDLE WHERE THEIR FAMILY WILL BE PRAYED FOR DAILY....IF YOU HAVE HAD A
LOVED ONE PASS AND WANT TO ADD THEIR NAME JUST LET ME KNOW

SUCH A WELCOME WHEN JESUS SAYS, WELL DONE MY FAITHFUL SERVANT.
I JUST LOOK AT THIS PICTURE AND CRY WITH JOY THAT ALL OUR CHILDREN
ARE SAFE WITH JESUS WITH NO PAIN, NO SADNESS, NO MORE TESTS, NO MORE
SAD NEWS OR TEARS.....THAT IS A WONDERFUL PRESENT TO A MOTHER.













































I'VE LOST MY MITTENS...YOU NAUGHTY KITTEN





THIS IS THE NEWEST MEMBER TO OUR FAMILY. WE ONLY HAD TO BOTTLE FEED HIM
FOR A FEW DAYS. HIS NAME IS WALKER BECAUSE MY HUSBAND LITERALLY
PULLED HIM OFF OUR BRICK ON THE HOUSE AS OUR DOGS WERE BARKING AT HIM.
THEY GET ALONG SO WELL NOW THAT HE IS INSIDE. HE IS PRECIOUS AND SUCH A
JOY TO HAVE...EVERY TIME HE WAKES UP HE IS WIDE EYED AND READY TO EXPLORE
THE DAY. I AM TRYING TO TAKE LESSONS FROM HIM.
EACH DAY IS TRULY NEW AND A BLESSING BUT I STILL CRY FOR THE LONGING OF
MY DAUGHTER.














I TRULY WISH GOD'S BLESSINGS UPON EACH OF YOUR LIVES.




I THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME AND MY FAMILY DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME.




I TREASURE EVERY ONE OF YOU.
CHRISTMAS EVE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLIZZARD WITH 57 MPH WIND GUSTS....
I WAS ONE OF THE IDIOTS THAT WENT SHOPPING AT THE LAST MINUTE
I SAID I WOULD NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. ( BRRRRRRBRRRRRRRBRRRRRR IT MADE
YOUR TEETH RATTLE.) BUT MORE THIS CHRISTMAS EVE
THAN ANY OTHER TIME I NOTICED THE ANGRY FACES AND SOME WOULD SCARE
YOU TO DEATH.....THE WORKERS, THE SHOPPERS....GRABBING AND PUSHING
AND HUFFING AND PUFFING. IT WAS RIDICULOUS HOW ADULT PEOPLE
WERE ACTING. BUT WE NEVER KNOW THE JOURNEY THEY ARE WALKING.
I KNOW IT WILL BE HORRID THE 26TH OF DECEMBER....PROBABLY DOWN RIGHT
SCAREY TO PARTLY DEADLY....LOL.
I ALSO WANT TO TAKE THE TIME TO THANK LYNN FROM PAINTING THYME
NEEDFULS FOR THE GORGEOUS MEMORIAL ORNAMENT SHE SENT TO ME FOR
AMY. IT IS A SNOW LADY SHE CREATED AND SHE IS JUST MAGICAL. I CRIED
OVER HOW KIND PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TO ME. THANK YOU DEAR LYNN SO VERY
MUCH...I WILL TREASURE IT FOREVER.





I WILL SEND PICTURES WHEN I CAN...MY CAMERA IS GIVING ME FITS.








MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. I HOPE THIS





CHRISTMAS SEASON BRINGS YOU THE MIRACLE YOU NEED, GOOD HEALTH,





AND RESTORATION OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I PRAY ALL BROKEN HEARTS ARE
HEALED BUT THE NEED TO STAY CLOSE TO JESUS CONTINUES.

ANGEL HUGS







50 comments:

  1. My dear sweet Debbie I thought of you all day and yesterday and most of the night. So wish I could be there this morning to give you the biggest hug I have in me.
    This post of course makes one cry and smile at the same time. What a precious sweet person you are and to think of the pain that you and all the others are going through with your angels spending their first Christmas in Heaven just breaks my heart. But it made me think of my Aunt Wanda and this being her first Christmas in a heaven she so loved and talked about all her life. What a wonderful loving place they are and if sweet Amy sees Aunt Wanda they will never leave each other side because they both are precious.
    I love you Debbie and think of you more than you will ever know.
    My heart is with you today
    Maggie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dearest Debbie,

    Merry Christmas to you and your family. You are in my thoughts this Christmas as you go through this holiday without your Amy. May God grant you peace, dear one. Amy is with you, she is celebrating right along with your family.

    Warmest wishes and hugs,
    Claudia

    ReplyDelete
  3. This post me smile even as it brought me to tears. You are a very special person. Amy IS celebrating with you from her special place in heaven. I continue to pray for you and your family. Merry Christmas to you all!

    Hugs.

    Debbie

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  4. Dearest Debbie,

    I wish you a Merry Christmas although I know it is the toughest one you'll ever go through. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Sandie

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  5. Dearest Debbie, My prayers are with you. Thank you for your beautiful gift of friendship. Hugs and blessings to you, Richard and Richie today and all through the year. Merry Christmas, dear friend.

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  6. Dear Debbie,

    Yes, this is probably one of the toughest Christmas seasons you will ever go through. God is helping you through it. Thank you for being such an inspiration to the world - smiling through your grief - God bless you. You are in my prayers today.

    Merry Christmas.

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  7. Debbie,
    Beautiful! I know it was hard for you to write about...I know your pain. We are so lonely without Amber this Christmas morning. We lit a candle for her yesterday. Thank you for remembering my sweet Amber and my family.
    You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday. I think about what a Christmas in Heaven our children are having with our Lord and Saviour.
    Blessings and HUGS,
    Donna

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  8. Debbie,
    MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and your family! I'm so sorry to hear about your lost...your daughter Amy must be having an awesome day today in heaven with OUR FATHER...one day we will all be there with her. I know your family must be having a very hard time during this SPECIAL holiday without her...I will be sure to say a prayer for you all. My "SPECIAL SISTER" lost her husband in March and she is also having a very hard time this Christmas without him...her faith has kept her soooo strong.

    Blessings,
    Linda

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  9. Lovely lovely post! Thank you for sharing it all with us. Your new little Walker is a cutie!! How nice to have a new furbaby!
    Merry Christmas to you and yours!
    We are having cake later and singing Happy Birthday to Jesus. The grands love that my mom does that!
    Hugs and prayers, Lisa

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  10. You may not know it Debbie, but you are truly an inspiration. I hope you find your way through today with as little pain as possible, we all know your Amy would wish only happiness and joy for you, perhaps one day you will heal enough to get there. God Bless and I am still praying for your family. Merry Christmas to you on earth and Amy up in Heaven!

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  11. Hi Debbie:
    My heart is so sad : (
    I have BIG love for Mom's that are enduring the loss of a child; my Mom (she is 100) lost my younger sister in 1992 and it still is heavy on her heart.
    Your daughter is beautiful and I can imagine her as an Angel!!!
    love & peace to you on this most special day
    carole

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  12. Debbie,

    Your post had got me to sobbing also. Your love is so generous and remberance is wonderous!
    I would like to use your angel image if your don't mind. It is for a very special person also. Blessings to you and your family!
    Smiles, Cyndi

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  13. Debbie, your words are so touching -- you truly have a gift to express things I wish I could -- things we all need to hear and want to hear -- I can't explain it right, it's very helpful and soothing to read your words even the words of pain because they wake up the hearts of your readers -- I dont' have the same gift so am not expressing what I mean very well -- and the connection of you and your mom meeting those who are going thru the same dread disease that Amy fought so bravely, it sends shivers up me...

    I cannot wait to see the pictures of the white hope tree, what a wonderful idea and I bet Amy loves it. And you mom's Hope tree sounds amazing.

    Hang in there...oh my gosh, WALKER the new kitty, he looks a bit like Andy Pandy...does he even know how lucky he is? Even in your grief you reach out to a small and helpless little creature, really the teachings and ways of Jesus Christ are very evident in you, you are a blessing on this bitter earth...

    Love you, m'dear.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Merry Christmas to you and yours, on earth and in heaven!

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  15. Merry Christmas to you and your family and to your dearest daughter Amy Dawn...hugs, Jennifer : )

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  16. Hello Debbie. A Blessed Christmas to you and to your family!

    Love, Prayers and Hugs.

    Regina

    ReplyDelete
  17. Debbie, you've been on my heart the last couple of days. I know it was a hard Christmas for you, however I hope that you and your family had a special Christmas.
    ♥Heidi

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  18. I thought of you alot today Debbie and how difficult it must have been for you. Even in your pain you are able to remember those who walk in pain too and pray for them. I'm so glad the ornament arrived in time for Christmas.
    I'm sending you my love and hugs on this Christmas Day
    Hugs,
    Lynn
    xoxoxoox

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  19. I thought and said a prayer yesterday Christmas day for you and your family. God is good and is for sure guiding your every thought and prayer.
    Blessings
    QMM

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  20. Debbie,
    Big Hugs to you my friend, I have been gone awhile but did pop in to check on you while I was gone. My heart is with you and your family this season. I have missed your blog and hope that someday you will pop in and visit me again so we can catch up. I have missed you. I think of your Angel Amy often and know she is smiling. BIG BIG hugs to you
    ♥ Teresa

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  21. Hi Debbie :) Tk you so much for visiting my Blog. Words cannot tell you how deeply sorry I am about your precious Amy and I am truly inspired with your amazing love and concern for others during the midst of your own personal sorrow. Amy would be very proud of you :) Our sweet beautiful Daughter, Michelle (Micki) entered into Heaven on April 28th, 2007. She had battled Crohn's Disease for 23 years and showed an amazing amount of faith, strength and courage through out it all. She died suddenly when a blood clot went to her lungs. My Husband and I were devastated and it's still so hard to comprehend. God is good though and we trust Him with all our heart and soul. We believe He knew what was best for her and have accepted His will for her life. I will pray that you and your family can find the same peace. May the thoughts of your precious Amy in Heaven continue to warm your heart :) It's truly the greatest place of all. God's Speed.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Debbie...Your post is just so very beautiful and meaningful to all of us who have lost children, and even to those who have been fortunate enough NOT to have lost one.

    Missed this post earler..as our daugther who recently had surgery ( Dec.8th) ended up in the hospital again on Christmas Day..she is still there. She is doing MUCH beter now however. Hope she is coming home tomorrow.
    I KNOW exactly what you are going thru in your grief journey..it is one of the hardest of Holidays to endure after your loss..besides Mother's Day.
    If feel in my heart you will be fine, you have such strength and so much support.
    Your Amy Dawn and my Dawn know each other now too..and are probably "comparing notes" on we Mothers right now.

    Many hugs to you,

    Rose~
    http://delightfulclutter.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  23. Debbie, This was such a beautiful post. I can't tell you the number of times I have thought of you and your family during this holiday season. I know it must have been a difficult Christmas for y'all, but I love the ways that you are celebrating Amy's life and the lives of others who have gone to the arms of Jesus. I know you will continue to heal in the new year, but I know that you (and many others) will never forget your dear Amy. With love, laurie

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  24. Debbie, I stopped by before Christmas to wish you a good one, but I see you posted on the 24th. I'm sorry I didn't see this until now. What a very loving tribute to Amy, and I look forward to seeing her trees, both yours and your mother's.

    Sending you warm hugs across the miles...

    XO,

    Sheila :-)

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  25. I'm thinking of you Debbie. Sandie

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  26. Dear Debbie,

    I want to send a personal thank you for taking the time to read my blog and begin following Scott and I's journey from infertility to prayerfully parenthood. Your support in your comment has lifted my spirit more than you could ever imagine. The blog that you have created is so uplifting and comforting. It is the kind of place that you want to return to again and again.

    God has been so good to me my entire life and I try each and every day to serve him in the best ways that I can. The struggles are rough with my health and infertility, but with much grace and peace I have been able to give them over to God and be confident that he will make a way for the true desires of my heart to come true. Being able to have a family is just one of the many ways that I want to serve God and help his kingdom grow. For the most part, I have done well with letting God take over the timing of Scott and I's ability to get pregnant. Although, I have to admit that fear of it not coming true hits me at times and I fall to my knees.

    Your prayers are greatly appreciated. Tears come to my eyes as I realize that there is someone else out there sharing in the deepest prayers of Scott and I's hearts. God is so good and I do believe that he brings awesome people into our lives for many reasons, and I am certainly glad that he brought you into mine through this great way of blogging. :)

    Hugs and blessings,
    Stacey

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  27. I hope you had a nice Christmas. Was thinking about you and your family over the weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hi Debbie! Thanks so much for visiting my blog, and leaving such a sweet comment. I wanted to thank you also for bringing to my attention that my comment button was missing, it is fixed now...thank you again!
    My heart truly goes out to you during this holiday season. May the Peace of God rest in your heart.

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  29. Dear Debbie, you and your family remain in my prayers. I can only imagine how difficult this holiday must be for you. But, Amy must have experienced the most wonderful Christmas of all.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Dear Debbie,
    Thank You for commenting on my blog, it really means a lot to me, I'm really not that confident in my card making abilities, I don't get very many comments on them, sometimes I wonder why I even bother posting them or making them.

    As for not following your blog anymore I want to apologize, I can never pretend to know how much pain you are going through. From my experience in the past when people have lost loved ones, people change, sometimes I feel like I don't have anything more to offer & I find it difficult to connect w/them & a lot of the time I fear I say the wrong thing. I'm sorry I did not send you a Christmas card, if it makes you feel better I didn't send them to anyone. My husband & his office workers took the ones I did make & gave them to friends & family w/their own gifts, guess they were too cheap to buy them :/ I make them I just rarely make the time to send them out, I even made one for my Grandpa & never got it sent out :( Anyway I guess I know some things I need to work on this New Year eh? I will keep your family in my prayers. And I will follow your blog again. :)

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  31. All these firsts you must face. You are in my prayers. May God bless you and your family with unexpected joy throughout the coming year.

    ((hugs))

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  32. Hi Debbie!

    Thank you so much for taking time to write to me on my blog. I'm always SO excited to meet new friends on here. Yay....now I have another Oklahoma friend. I'll jot you an e-mail telling you more specifically where I live in OK.

    I cannot express how deeply this post touched my heart. I can't imagine losing one of my children. My heart breaks for you and for Melanie....little Andrew's mom. I've sure been thinking about her and praying that God would send a comfort only He can give.

    I'm anxious to read more about Amy in your past posts.

    I'm so thankful we don't grieve as those who have no hope. We have the precious promise of heaven and seeing Jesus face to face ourselves one day and I'm so thankful you all and your precious Amy knew Jesus and that she's in his arms right now.

    God bless you and your family during this season.

    Love,
    Valerie

    ReplyDelete
  33. hi Debbie,
    thank you for visiting my blog and becoming a follower, very appreciated and thoughtful. Sorry to read such sad news of your daughter's passing.
    I hope the New Year will be much better. May God bless you with all greatness.

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  34. Debbie, just thought I would pop by and say hello....I think of you and your family daily. Hope you all are doing well......forever in my heart and prayers.......:-) Hugs

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  35. Hi Debbie :) I just read your comment on my Blog and I wasn't sure how else to respond other than to come back to your Blog and leave another comment on your last post :) Hope that's OK.

    I continue to be so very sorry for the pain you are having to endure right now. My heart just breaks for you and your family and I so wish I could make it all go away. You asked me how we managed to get thru it all ... I imagine it was solely by the Grace of God that we've reached the point we've reached. I don't think we will ever fully recover cuz I don't think you can recover from loosing a child. It plain and simply is not natural ... they are supposed to out live us and it's just not right when they don't; but we don't always have a choice in life ... God is ultimately the Great Planner, and we have to believe that He knows best; and unless we would prefer to totally go crazy and loose every ounce of sanity that He gave us, we have to ultimately accept his Great Plan for us and for our loved one's. It's all I know how to do :)

    Without a doubt, the first year is definitely the worse when you loose a child ... there's all those firsts that are just indescribable. I can't tell you how relieved I was when we reached the 1st Anniversary of Micki's death ... for some crazy reason, I was somewhat giddy over making it to that point! I felt so relieved that there were no more "firsts!"

    to be continued ...

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  36. more ...

    I spent that first year painfully celebrating each hour/day/week/month she had spent in Heaven; and I basically walked thru that year mindlessly ... so much of it I don't even remember, like the "first Christmas," which is absolutely a total blur to me today!

    The love we received from family and friends was sooooo comforting, but they inevitably had to go on w/their lives, so after the Funeral was over, it was as if we were drowning in sorrow while the rest of the world kept going on. I couldn't sleep ... I spent hours and days crying and my Husband and I were killing ourselves re-living her life. We finally realized that we had to stop ... that we had to go forward cuz that is what she would have wanted. We also knew that it was what God wanted as well.

    I think the one thing that helped me the most that first year was writing to Micki ... every single night I fired up my laptop and I wrote to her ... I told her everything that was in my heart and in her Dad's heart. I told her over and over how much we loved her and how proud of her we were. I told her everything from A to Z! Pages and pages and pages ... hundreds of them. I haven't gone back to read any of it cuz I'm not quite ready to re-live it just yet ... perhaps some day.

    I also wrote her a letter and put it in her casket along with a picture of the three of us. Silly I know, but it made me feel better; and I got the idea of balloons, which we would release and let them float up into Heaven that first year :)

    I so wish I had the answer for your sorrow, but grief is a process. There is no right or wrong way to go thru it either ... whatever works for you is what you need to do! They say that "time heals everything," but a wise friend said "it doesn't actually heal ... it merely gets us to the point of acceptance." Once you reach that point, I do believe that you can know joy once again :) Also, try not to cry because she is gone, but smile because she was here :) Some more wise words from another friend! I think of them often :)

    I can certainly understand why you are having trouble getting past Amy's suffering ... I did the exact same thing with Micki and still do it today! I find myself quite often grieving the life that she had to live and her many years of suffering is still hard for me to accept. During that whole time I tried to figure out what God's purpose was for her life. Shortly after she died, I realized that it was her Faith and the way she lived it in spite of all the pain and sickness ... it was finally apparent how many lives she had touched along the way w/her ability to endure w/a grateful heart. Almost 3 years later folks still talk about it :) What a wonderful legacy, and I often pray that she now knows what a difference she made :)

    And lastly, perhaps the greatest thing of all is the thoughts of her in Heaven! Glorious, glorious Heaven, where suffering is not allowed! No more doctors, no more hospitals, no more meds, no more pain ... just glorious hours, days, months and years :) Every time I think of it that way, a great amount of peace floods my heart; and I know, without a doubt, that we will be reunited someday :)

    I've read that if our loved one's were given the choice to come back to us, that they would decline! They'd have to do that cuz they are so happy now ... a happiness that is so great that we as Humans cannot even begin to comprehend! That's what your Amy has now my dear :) May that bring warmth to your heart and comfort to your soul :) God Bless you!

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  37. Hi Debbie,
    I didn't think I stopped following your blog!!! I will have to check this out, my daughter fixed me up with something to help me get to my blogs I follow faster and she may have missed you. I have been so busy and all the past month or so, so I may have missed you!!!!I love catching up with you and checking on how you are holding up,so I am still here!!!!!
    Happy New Year!!!
    hugs,
    jamie

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  38. Oh Debbie, I'm wishing you a happy new year. I am thinking and praying for you. (((HUGS))) Sandie

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  39. It is always sad whenever one's child or loved ones go earlier than us.

    But we have to submit to the will of God and accept it as fate and know that there is blessing behind every test from God.

    I know this as I too have lost a son due to Leukemia. Though many years have passed since he left us all, his memories wre still very very close with us.

    In fact during his last birthday, he visited us all in person...all his siblings were crying as he came by, with that sweet smile of his...

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  40. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Debbie. It is clear you are a very loving person who cares for people very deeply. I wish you healing and happiness in the new year.

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  41. Debbie, I'm not sure I know what to say after viewing your beautiful blog..I'm in tears right now and so sad. How my heart goes out to you over the loss of your lovely Daughter. I know your pain.
    I'm saying a prayer for you & your precious angel Amy in heaven.
    God bless you ~Mary~

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  42. Hello Dear Friend,
    As always I am leaving here blessed beyond words, and want you to know that you are on my heart and mind even though I haven't been on my computer in a couple of weeks.
    I don't believe I have ever known a more kinder and thoughtful person as you Debbie, you truly have a wonderful ministry here in blogland, and I am praying that God will continue to use you toward the upbuilding of His Kingdom.

    And Yes , I believe that our loved ones who are abiding in the presence of Almighty God are rooting for us, and will touch our heavenly Father on the arm, saying" look Father my family needs a touch today, please send someone to encourage them. And you offer so much encouragement to everyone.

    May the Lord bless and keep you in His abiding presence today and through out the New Year, I love you and am so thankful for your friendship.
    Hugs and blessings,
    Sue

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  43. Debbie I have been thinking about you all day. Write me when you get a chance as I can not find your email address.
    Know I am thinking and praying for you
    Maggie

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  44. Dear Debbie,I know that 2009 was probably the worst day of your life but I hope that 2010 comes to you full of peace, love and blessings. Happy New Year to you and your family! Hugs and kisses from VA, Evelyn and kiddos

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  45. Dear Debbie,

    I thought of you and your family so much over the Christmas holidays and every time I see a pink sunset I think of Amy. You have a lovely gift for writing and your post in memory of Angel Amy and those who have joined Our Father in Heaven was beautiful.

    I will be donating art this year to a shelter for women and children in memory of Angel Amy and will give you more information as the project develops. Bentley and I want to stay in with touch with you.
    Sending you hugs and blessings for the New Year.
    Blessings,
    Erin

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  46. Just stopping by to wish you a Happy Pink Saturday.

    You are in my prayers.

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  47. Debbie, I am missing you and wondering how you are doing and where your posts are? Are you doing okay? I know this is a hard time for you.

    Sandie

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  48. Dear Debbie, I hope that 2010 will be a gentler year for you and your wonderful family. Thank you for all that you have shared with others in the blogosphere this year. I prayed for Amy, and I felt a good deal of sorrow when she passed on and became an angel. (I think she was an angel when she was alive, too.) And you are an inspiration in your devotion to God. Truly, one of the greatest inspirations I have run across. May God bless you this year like no other!

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  49. Dear Debbie, May God hold you tightly in his arms in 2010 and may your pain grow less and your memories of Amy grow sweeter with each passing season. I will be praying for you this week.

    Blessings,
    Tricia

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  50. Debbie amor, I have been thinking of you and hoping that as you remember your beautiful daughter that all the wonderful memories of her that you cherish... will wrap around your heart and give you warmth & comfort. This is what I held onto this year as I missed my Ita (grandma) who was/is my light and my dad, this was our first Christmas without him...as hard as it was...each time that I felt so bad, I would think of what he said when my Ita passed and I wanted nothing to do with any holidays that year...he said, life goes on whether we want it to or not after a loved one is gone..how we choose to cherish those that we love after they are gone is up to us...but he also reminded me how much my Ita loved Christmas and the holidays being all about family and he reminded me that my daughters deserved to still have the holidays and that I was showing them how to grieve by my example...as hard as it was, we decorated our homes. celebrated her and the love of family that she instilled in all of us and afterwards I was so thankful that we did...see my Ita was 93 when she passed and she had lived a wonderful life and she LOVED life, she was a mother of 10 who had buried 5 of her children and a husband when she was very young...and even in her grief she made sure those that remained learned to love life, to value it and each other...So when my dad passed last Feb. we had to start all over again, his words kept echoing in my head and my heart...and as much as I miss him and everyone else we have lost...we went forward, getting together as a family, cherishing each other knowing that next year maybe there would once again be one less of us at the celebration...I am just hoping that thru the pain of missing our loved ones, we all remember the ones that remain... so dear Debbie, I wish for you a New Year filled with much love, good health and laughte, yes laughter because from what you have said about your daughter, she loved life...so then when you think of her...may the memories make you smile and laugh and not hurt so much..Besos, to you my new friend, Rose

    I hope my long post made sense :)

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debbie